Episode 1
LIVE! How to Excel in Your Financial Mindset | Fishbowl
Excelling in your money mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. It means putting yourself in a position to make life most enjoyable to you, however you define that.
- The goal for today is really just for you to walk away from tonight with a better understanding of your current money mindset, and what you can change to better excel when it comes to that mindset. (03:23)
- I would say a lot of the finance stuff that's the loudest like if somebody is shouting at you through the TV and hitting a buzzer, they're probably not the person you want to be taking advice from. (13:56)
- So if you're wanting to be in a good place down the road, you're probably wanting to save, I would say at least 10% of your gross income. (29:59)
Quote for the event. "So excelling in your money mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. Excelling in your money mindset means putting yourself in a position to make life most enjoyable to you. However, you may individually define that." (19:32)
Securities offered through TFS Securities, Inc., and Advisory Services through TFS Advisory Services, an SEC Registered Investment Advisor Member FINRA/SIPC. TFS Securities, Inc., is located at 437 Newman Springs Road, Lincroft, NJ 07738 (732) 758-9300.
Transcript
Welcome to the EnjoyMore30s Family Finance
Voiceover Audio:podcast. The only podcast dedicated to making life more
Voiceover Audio:enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics
Voiceover Audio:that tend to weigh on us, stress us out, and distract our focus
Voiceover Audio:from simply enjoying life.
Joseph Okaly:Hello, and welcome to the EnjoyMore30s Family
Joseph Okaly:Finance podcast. Today we have a special live recording that
Joseph Okaly:we're going to share with you called How To Excel In Your
Joseph Okaly:Financial Mindset, which was broadcast live across the
Joseph Okaly:Fishbowl app. So instead of a normal episode today, you can
Joseph Okaly:hear this recording. It has a great Q&A, a lot of back and
Joseph Okaly:forth. So I thought it would have a lot of valuable
Joseph Okaly:information in it that I wanted to share. I must apologize a
Joseph Okaly:little bit for the audio, with the back and forth between both
Joseph Okaly:of the co-hosts, myself, and Jade Rose, it does get a little
Joseph Okaly:choppy at times, but I tried to smooth it out as much as
Joseph Okaly:possible. So without further ado, enjoy, and I hope you very
Joseph Okaly:much get something out of this episode.
Jade Rose:Great. So we've got a good crowd here. So I think
Jade Rose:let's get started. So thank you, everyone for joining us this
Jade Rose:evening for the How To Excel In Your Financial Mindset Live. My
Jade Rose:name is Jade Rose, and I run the financial advisor Fishbowl all
Jade Rose:the way from the other side of the pond. And we're very lucky
Jade Rose:to have Joe Okaly with us this evening. So Joe is a financial
Jade Rose:advisor, CFP holder, podcaster, and father of two children. As I
Jade Rose:said, we'll be opening up the floor to questions in the second
Jade Rose:half of the Live, which will run for 60 minutes. And if you'd
Jade Rose:like to ask any questions, use the button in the bottom right.
Joseph Okaly:So Joe, thank you so much for joining us this
Joseph Okaly:evening before we jump into the topics, could you just tell us a
Joseph Okaly:bit more about yourself? Yeah, absolutely Jade, thank you so
Joseph Okaly:much for being here. First off, for taking the time to to be
Joseph Okaly:involved in this event today. I have a lot of faith in in
Joseph Okaly:spreading this message. And I really appreciate you being a
Joseph Okaly:part of it. And as I kind of mentioned to you before
Joseph Okaly:everybody here jumped on, you just have the most beautiful
Joseph Okaly:accent I've ever heard. And unfortunately, they're gonna
Joseph Okaly:have to listen to my North Jersey coffee accent for the
Joseph Okaly:majority of today. But I definitely appreciate everything
Joseph Okaly:that that you're contributing. Like Jade said, my name is Joe
Joseph Okaly:Okaly, I'm a certified financial planner CFP. For those of you
Joseph Okaly:out here who may have heard of a CPA designation, that's, that's
Joseph Okaly:more well known for accountants. This is kind of like the highest
Joseph Okaly:equivalent designation that I can receive in my own personal
Joseph Okaly:field. I'm 35 years old. I've been an advisor, though, for 14
Joseph Okaly:years already. So basically my entire adult life. I run the
Joseph Okaly:wealth management firm that I'm associated with. And I also have
Joseph Okaly:a podcast trying to help young families specifically with their
Joseph Okaly:money. And that's called EnjoyMore30s Family Finance. So
Joseph Okaly:this is by far my biggest professional passion is getting
Joseph Okaly:this message out there to people out like you that can help, you
Joseph Okaly:know be helped by this. And, you know, so that's really where I
Joseph Okaly:focus more most of my professional energy. I've been a
Joseph Okaly:guest on a number of other podcasts, a couple in the UK, a
Joseph Okaly:number of other ones here in the US. As Jade did mention, I am
Joseph Okaly:married. And I have two just fantastic kids. My wife, Lauren
Joseph Okaly:was a teacher. She changed careers, to focus more on her
Joseph Okaly:passion. So we're gonna definitely talk more about that
Joseph Okaly:later on today. And yeah, so like Jade said that the goal for
Joseph Okaly:today is really just to, you know, for you to walk away from
Joseph Okaly:tonight with a better understanding of your current
Joseph Okaly:money mindset, and what you can change to better excel when it
Joseph Okaly:comes to that mindset. And it may sound weird, like we have a
Joseph Okaly:relationship with money, but money really greatly affects so
Joseph Okaly:many aspects of our lives. We literally have this weird
Joseph Okaly:relationship with it that just kind of forms. And for some
Joseph Okaly:people money can mean freedom, but to most people really the
Joseph Okaly:vast majority of people that I come across and it's really even
Joseph Okaly:the people that have money, which is the funniest thing, it
Joseph Okaly:can mean anxiety. It affects what job you decide to take,
Joseph Okaly:what goals you set for yourself, so you know in many ways, the
Joseph Okaly:way you're you live your life and the happiness that you're
Joseph Okaly:ultimately able to derive from it. So needless to say this
Joseph Okaly:money mindset is, is super, super important. So Jade, if you
Joseph Okaly:wouldn't mind if you could run through kind of how we're set up
Joseph Okaly:to do this for today, the sections that we kind of have
Joseph Okaly:organized tonight's session into?
Jade Rose:Yeah, absolutely. So while there are so many things
Jade Rose:that that I have just picked out from, from your introduction
Jade Rose:that I'll definitely touch on later. Such an interesting
Jade Rose:background. So how this is gonna work. We have three main topics
Jade Rose:we're going to discuss with you tonight. It's how your money
Jade Rose:mindset got you to where you are. It's where your mindset can
Jade Rose:take you. And then three questions that our audience can
Jade Rose:use to start excelling in their own money mindset. Before we
Jade Rose:jump into the first one, there's something I wanted to ask you so
Jade Rose:something I've seen on your socials on your website is
Jade Rose:"making life more enjoyable". And I think it'd be quite
Jade Rose:interesting to explain what you mean by that, before we dive
Jade Rose:into the practical steps of building a healthy mindset.
Joseph Okaly:Sure, yeah, absolutely. And this is really
Joseph Okaly:the the focus of how we try to, you know, put our all of our
Joseph Okaly:energies when we're working with people, as advisors. And a lot
Joseph Okaly:of this we're actually going to touch on touch on as, as the
Joseph Okaly:conversation goes. But essentially, you know, money is
Joseph Okaly:something that a lot of people focus on the specific
Joseph Okaly:investments or the specific insurance, all these very
Joseph Okaly:specific details, but the whole point of all of that is for us
Joseph Okaly:to really, if all that's where it needs to be, then we don't
Joseph Okaly:have to worry about that anymore. And we can just focus
Joseph Okaly:on making life as enjoyable as possible. So you know, I think
Joseph Okaly:that leads perfectly into kind of how we got our mindset here
Joseph Okaly:to where it is today. And for me, the fact that I know
Joseph Okaly:anything when it comes to finances was completely just
Joseph Okaly:dumb luck. A professor in college brought in this person
Joseph Okaly:called a financial planner, which I had never heard of, to
Joseph Okaly:any extent before. And I became interested and wound up pursuing
Joseph Okaly:that kind of a career. And because of that these financial
Joseph Okaly:planning methods and resources that we're going to talk to you
Joseph Okaly:tonight about, were always accessible to me. What I used
Joseph Okaly:for other people in their planning, their retirement,
Joseph Okaly:their investments, their insurance, whatever, whatever it
Joseph Okaly:may have been, I just naturally did that for myself. And when I
Joseph Okaly:spoke to, you know, other people, especially young
Joseph Okaly:families out there, I became readily conscious of this
Joseph Okaly:complete dumb luck that I had received and started to value it
Joseph Okaly:a lot more highly, because I didn't feel anxiety around money
Joseph Okaly:or anything, because my job literally trained me to handle
Joseph Okaly:it myself. And without that, I would have just been lost. So
Joseph Okaly:when I when I saw that, and you know, when everybody's growing
Joseph Okaly:up or going through school, and I'm guessing nobody out there
Joseph Okaly:had a comprehensive financial literacy coursework in school.
Joseph Okaly:I'm guessing that no one even had an in comprehensive
Joseph Okaly:financial literacy coursework in school. And, you know, that's
Joseph Okaly:the norm from everyone. I've spoken to Jade, I don't know
Joseph Okaly:about you over over in the UK. But certainly in the US, there's
Joseph Okaly:there's almost no financial literacy that's taught in any of
Joseph Okaly:the schools.
Jade Rose:Yeah, it's the same over here. It's non existent.
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, I mean, the line I always say is, you know,
Joseph Okaly:Shakespeare is well and good, but to be or, you know, not to
Joseph Okaly:be doesn't really help to buy or not to pay or to spend or not to
Joseph Okaly:spend, or to save or not to save. And, you know, the truth
Joseph Okaly:of it all is that you were everybody listening here was
Joseph Okaly:probably unprepared coming out of school when it came to your
Joseph Okaly:money mindset. I was unprepared coming out of school when it
Joseph Okaly:came to my money mindset. You know, essentially everybody out
Joseph Okaly:there is unprepared when it comes to the money mindset. And
Joseph Okaly:society for some reason says we can't talk about money, it's too
Joseph Okaly:taboo. So I can go online and go on Facebook and for some reason,
Joseph Okaly:posting pictures of yourself in your bathing suit on the beach
Joseph Okaly:is perfectly acceptable all the time. But asking someone
Joseph Okaly:publicly on social media, "hey, I got a raise, what should I do
Joseph Okaly:with this money? Or I just had a second kid, how do I know if I
Joseph Okaly:have enough life insurance?", that seems to be you know, too
Joseph Okaly:taboo, that has to be, you know, kept behind locked doors. And so
Joseph Okaly:we're in a position where we're not really educated at all, we
Joseph Okaly:can't really publicly ask about it. And so the last resource
Joseph Okaly:resource is going to the industry that specializes it so,
Joseph Okaly:you know, Jade and myself, you know, we're in this industry,
Joseph Okaly:that is, you know, somewhat confusing, intimidating. We seem
Joseph Okaly:to like to build these jargon walls to make it as
Joseph Okaly:uncomfortable as possible for people, you know, like wealth
Joseph Okaly:management, for instance, is the easy one. Wealth Management
Joseph Okaly:implies you already have wealth, to manage, which most people
Joseph Okaly:don't, and people who actually do have wealth probably had
Joseph Okaly:someone help them get that wealth at some point in their
Joseph Okaly:lives. So you know, more appropriate titling would be,
Joseph Okaly:you know, I want to have wealth management, or I don't want to
Joseph Okaly:be poor management. Unfortunately, I don't have the
Joseph Okaly:power to change those social norms. But that seems to be the
Joseph Okaly:case. So you know, most people come out of school with 1, not
Joseph Okaly:having likely said any financial education, and 2, feeling like
Joseph Okaly:they really have no comfortable resources, at least to reach out
Joseph Okaly:to. And despite all that, though, we all stumble into our
Joseph Okaly:own mindsets about money. We come out of school, and we have
Joseph Okaly:you know, some form of relationship with it at this
Joseph Okaly:point. We weren't taught it but it just kind of subconsciously
Joseph Okaly:developed and maybe some of that we pick up from looking at our
Joseph Okaly:parents we either say "hey, wow their mom and dad pretty smart.
Joseph Okaly:I'm going to do that too". Or maybe like "Oh, mom and dad
Joseph Okaly:seemed like they're really struggling. I'm gonna do the
Joseph Okaly:opposite of what they're doing here". Or even you know, music
Joseph Okaly:videos with you know, Bentleys, gold chains, and making it rain
Joseph Okaly:dollar bills, all really not great resources for for
Joseph Okaly:developing a great money mindset. So what I'd like
Joseph Okaly:everyone to do to kind of finish off this first section, I guess,
Joseph Okaly:is let's all visualize if you close your eyes and you think of
Joseph Okaly:all your kind of close family and friends. So you know, 10-15
Joseph Okaly:people, something like that. Visualize them in your head. And
Joseph Okaly:below that, I want you to put three different boxes below
Joseph Okaly:them. So first, let's think about those people that you're
Joseph Okaly:that you're visualizing right now that have a mindset of a
Joseph Okaly:spender. So we all know spenders, every time we see
Joseph Okaly:them, they seem to have something new or cool to show
Joseph Okaly:you. So grab all those people that you're visualizing right
Joseph Okaly:now that are spenders, and let's put them in that first box. Now,
Joseph Okaly:let's move on to the second mindset, a saver. So you know,
Joseph Okaly:everybody knows people that are good at saving, you don't really
Joseph Okaly:see them save, you kind of you know that they seem to be
Joseph Okaly:putting away enough. They seem to always have money for what
Joseph Okaly:they need to have money for. So all those people that you're
Joseph Okaly:visualizing that are savers, grab them, and let's visually
Joseph Okaly:put them into that second box. Now, there's the last box here,
Joseph Okaly:which I'm guessing should be most of the other people that
Joseph Okaly:that you have left, I find to be just the people that that hate
Joseph Okaly:spending. They don't, they don't spend money, they don't really
Joseph Okaly:seem to have it when they need it either. So you kind of you
Joseph Okaly:know, the people were that when the bill comes out at dinner,
Joseph Okaly:they kind of cringe thinking about having to put anything
Joseph Okaly:into the pot there. But let's grab the rest of those people
Joseph Okaly:and put them into that last box. So you visualize all these
Joseph Okaly:family and friends. And we have them in these three different
Joseph Okaly:boxes now. So let's say now that those people that you just put
Joseph Okaly:into those three boxes, were doing this same exact exercise
Joseph Okaly:and you were one of the people that they visualized. What which
Joseph Okaly:one of those three boxes do you think that they would be placing
Joseph Okaly:you in right now? Where do you think they put you from your
Joseph Okaly:money mindset standpoint, right now.
Joseph Okaly:And the point of going through kind of this visualization, what
Joseph Okaly:I find this to be helpful to do is 1, show like everybody that
Joseph Okaly:you visualized, you could put them in some box, they all have
Joseph Okaly:some kind of a money mindset that they all develop despite
Joseph Okaly:having no education, despite maybe having no resources to
Joseph Okaly:talk to other people. And the second part that I find really
Joseph Okaly:interesting about this exercise is that when we think about what
Joseph Okaly:other people would think about our money mindset, what what
Joseph Okaly:box, they would put us and it kind of quickly brings anxiety,
Joseph Okaly:it shows like, you know what other people think of how we
Joseph Okaly:handle money is kind of stressful for us. It's kind of,
Joseph Okaly:you know, important to us that they think of us in a certain
Joseph Okaly:way. And what I want to kind of start off here with is, you
Joseph Okaly:know, the there is no blame, there's no shame or anything for
Joseph Okaly:where everyone is at this point in time. Again, we didn't get
Joseph Okaly:the education, you didn't get the resources but now that we
Joseph Okaly:start building up this mindset, we're aware that we do have a
Joseph Okaly:mindset, we do have a relationship with money at this
Joseph Okaly:point in time, that now allows us a starting point that we can
Joseph Okaly:make decisions on from where that mindset goes from here and
Joseph Okaly:how much it excels from here. So Jade anything from I guess that
Joseph Okaly:first section that you know, any reflections that you had, or
Joseph Okaly:anything that you kind of connected with?
Unknown:Yeah, first of all, I'd like to know if I want wealth
Unknown:management as trademarks, because if it isn't, I'll be
Unknown:using that for myself. It's so true. I think the jargon is an
Unknown:unnecessary barrier to entry. So if anyone has been considering
Unknown:seeking financial advice or embarking on their own journey,
Unknown:but feel they're not wealthy enough, or they don't have
Unknown:enough knowledge, please do reach out and ask for help and
Unknown:support because it's there for you if you need it. The other
Unknown:thing I wanted to ask you to share with us is where can
Unknown:people go then but as you mentioned, it's not taught on a
Unknown:curriculum, you were very lucky to come across good financial
Unknown:advice and support. What resources do you suggest people
Unknown:can go to be it YouTubers, books, any other resources?
Joseph Okaly:Sure. Yeah. So there's a lot of finance stuff
Joseph Okaly:out there. And I would say a lot of the finance stuff that's the
Joseph Okaly:loudest like if somebody is shouting at you through the TV
Joseph Okaly:and hitting a buzzer, they're probably not the person you want
Joseph Okaly:to be taking advice from. When it comes to to real you know
Joseph Okaly:financial planning to try to get you on a path and a journey if
Joseph Okaly:you picture kind of a point you know, a dot of where you are now
Joseph Okaly:and a second dot you know, further on you know, down on a
Joseph Okaly:piece of paper. We wanted to have like the smoothest
Joseph Okaly:straightest line to get you from from where you are here to where
Joseph Okaly:you are down there. So when you go through a lot of that
Joseph Okaly:financial stuff that you see out there, if any that has like a
Joseph Okaly:feeling of like get rich quick, I would definitely tell you to
Joseph Okaly:really look at that closely. Really look at that with a with
Joseph Okaly:a cautious eye and financial resources that you come across
Joseph Okaly:that kind of say, you know, save, save more than you spend.
Joseph Okaly:You know, here's some smart stuff to protect yourself.
Joseph Okaly:Anything like that. There's a lot of podcasts out there.
Joseph Okaly:There's you know, there's a lot of different books out there.
Joseph Okaly:The Millionaire Next Door is one that I thought was fantastic for
Joseph Okaly:you don't have To be flashy to accumulate wealth. So that would
Joseph Okaly:be the overarching kind of theme that I would say to look for and
Joseph Okaly:to avoid. I don't know, Jade, if you've had personal experience
Joseph Okaly:in any of those kind of areas for you meeting, people looking
Joseph Okaly:at things that they shouldn't necessarily be focusing on to,
Joseph Okaly:to try to gain some of that financial knowledge.
Jade Rose:Yeah, I completely agree. There are a lot of
Jade Rose:questionable resources out there. But like you said, the
Jade Rose:obvious ones that scream, paid course or get rich quick, I, I
Jade Rose:would steer clear from another question on your mindset, then.
Jade Rose:So you graduated college in well, when when the financial
Jade Rose:crisis was happening, which is quite a pivotal point in your
Jade Rose:life and your career. And now you said you never had anxiety
Jade Rose:around money because of the education that you'd received?
Jade Rose:To have how did that play out during 2008? When you're just
Jade Rose:embarking on your own career?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so I mean, one of the coaching programs
Jade Rose:Yeah, I love that. That's such a great attitude to
Jade Rose:that I use, I don't know if anybody out there has heard of
Jade Rose:Strategic Coach before. But that's a phenomenal resource, a
Jade Rose:phenomenal program, and one of the things that they teach is,
Jade Rose:you know, there's no, there's no real negative, there's no,
Jade Rose:there's always opportunity within there. So, you know, in
Jade Rose:2008, everything's dropping, that also means a lot of people
Jade Rose:are looking for financial advice, because the things that
Jade Rose:they've been doing probably aren't working. It also
Jade Rose:corresponded with mortgage rates here dropping down, and people
Jade Rose:needing to refinance, to be able to still keep their bills the
Jade Rose:way they were. So refinancing was a big part of what I did in
Jade Rose:2008. You know, even in COVID, this last year, it gave us the
Jade Rose:opportunity to really greatly expand our resources with
Jade Rose:jumping into zoom, like so many other companies did, focusing
Jade Rose:more on making videos and media content that a lot of people out
Jade Rose:have. So for anyone who's just joined us, we are chatting with
Jade Rose:there could consume. So, you know, it there's, there's always
Jade Rose:hurdles no matter where, where you are, and, you know, even in
Jade Rose:our industry, when everything is, is going up, you know,
Jade Rose:convincing someone to to work with you, instead of someone
Jade Rose:else I would say is probably even harder, because
Jade Rose:everything's just going straight up. It's the times that are
Jade Rose:difficult, that, that I think, have way more opportunity in
Jade Rose:them for you to shine if you're willing to do it and, you know,
Jade Rose:Joe Okaly, financial advisor and podcaster. Joe is discussing how
Jade Rose:n a unique way. Like 2008, the dvisors that just put their
Jade Rose:ead in the sand and tried to ide from their clients, because
Jade Rose:hey were so afraid of what they ight say, those are the ones
Jade Rose:hat probably lost more clients t an they gain as opposed to the
Jade Rose:dvisors that really stepped up he opportunity and tried to
Jade Rose:ngage even more with their lients, I think did a lot
Jade Rose:etter. And that was at least my ersonal experience back when I
Jade Rose:tarted in 2008.
Jade Rose:to excel in your financial mindset and is answering any
Jade Rose:questions you guys may have. If you'd like to ask a question,
Jade Rose:please use the button in the bottom right hand corner, and
Jade Rose:then you can join the stage there. So our next section, then
Jade Rose:we're going to discuss where your mindset can take
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, thank you so much Jade. So we kind of set
Joseph Okaly:that stage through this early part of the conversation to
Joseph Okaly:hopefully get everybody on the same page of you do have a
Joseph Okaly:mindset when it comes to money already, you have a relationship
Joseph Okaly:with money already and you know, despite any conscious effort,
Joseph Okaly:perhaps or any intentional schooling, we all kind of wound
Joseph Okaly:up in this spot. So this next section, my daughter, Avery,
Joseph Okaly:she's almost five, she's a huge fan of the Frozen movies,
Joseph Okaly:obviously being Elsa for Halloween. So this is kind of
Joseph Okaly:like the Into The Unknown section of the presentation, if
Joseph Okaly:you will. So going back to that visualization exercise that we
Joseph Okaly:did before where we're picturing all of our family and our
Joseph Okaly:friends and you know the mindsets they might have as
Joseph Okaly:spenders or savers or anything else. You know, one of the
Joseph Okaly:things that you'll notice is that there really is there's no
Joseph Okaly:inherent right or wrong that I at least intentionally tried to
Joseph Okaly:point out, you know, because the default that you may think that
Joseph Okaly:a lot of people think or like, you know savers are good and
Joseph Okaly:spenders are bad. And the goal in life though and is not to
Joseph Okaly:accumulate as much money as possible, not to have a really
Joseph Okaly:large number on a piece of paper, which is what you would
Joseph Okaly:expect an advisor to tell you like save, save, save, just get
Joseph Okaly:this this investment value as big as it possibly can be. But
Joseph Okaly:certainly to me, that's not the case. It's to make life most
Joseph Okaly:enjoyable to you, however you may define it. So that's
Joseph Okaly:something that Jade brought up kind of earlier in the
Joseph Okaly:presentation. And this is really the heart of what I'm hoping to
Joseph Okaly:get across to everybody today. So excelling in your money
Joseph Okaly:mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. Excelling in your money
Joseph Okaly:mindset means putting yourself in a position to make life most
Joseph Okaly:enjoyable to you. However, you may individually define that. So
Joseph Okaly:if you're a saver mindset, let's say and you're not experiencing
Joseph Okaly:life as much as you could be, because you're just trying to
Joseph Okaly:save every penny, you're afraid of what the future may be
Joseph Okaly:because it's unknown. To me, that's a huge problem as an
Joseph Okaly:advisor. You're missing out on those trips to Disney World.
Joseph Okaly:You're missing out on maybe that nicer house that you could enjoy
Joseph Okaly:more with your kids or whatever else it might be. If you're a
Joseph Okaly:spender mindset, you're obviously not putting away, you
Joseph Okaly:know enough money for the future, you have other goals,
Joseph Okaly:probably long term that are really important, you know, down
Joseph Okaly:the road. So that's obviously a problem as well. But either one
Joseph Okaly:of these can be a problem. So neither one of those I would
Joseph Okaly:define as really excelling in their financial mindset. And the
Joseph Okaly:trick here with all of this really is having some idea of
Joseph Okaly:where you're going. Having that plan so that you're freer to
Joseph Okaly:spend whatever is excess on living and not have that guilt,
Joseph Okaly:that that tends to kind of tack along with the process. So like,
Joseph Okaly:you know, if you're going to the ice cream shop to buy an ice
Joseph Okaly:cream cone, and you don't know how much money is in your
Joseph Okaly:pocket, that's a problem. You walk up to the register, and
Joseph Okaly:maybe I don't know how much I have on the order of the small
Joseph Okaly:ice cream cone. And then you pull $100 bill out of your
Joseph Okaly:pocket, you're gonna be kicking yourself! Who wants a small ice
Joseph Okaly:cream cone? And the complete reverse of that if you walk up
Joseph Okaly:to the counter, and you order the large and then you pull out
Joseph Okaly:a $1 bill, and you have to ask the guy to scrape a scoop off
Joseph Okaly:the top, you look like a fool. So we don't want that either.
Joseph Okaly:The mindset shift, though, that this allows us to make is
Joseph Okaly:everybody seems to work off of educated guesses. And we want to
Joseph Okaly:get that closer at, you know, as close as we can to making that
Joseph Okaly:educated decisions instead. Because people that again, excel
Joseph Okaly:in their financial mindset are those that see money as a tool,
Joseph Okaly:instead of a goal in of itself. The money is not the goal, the
Joseph Okaly:ice cream is the goal. The vacations are the goal. The
Joseph Okaly:happiness is the goal. So people that excel in their financial
Joseph Okaly:mindset are the people who really recognize that end goal.
Joseph Okaly:And it may seem like a no brainer, you know, we all want
Joseph Okaly:to be happy. But there's really a huge mindset difference here
Joseph Okaly:when you look at possible actions that you can make and
Joseph Okaly:what seemingly could be very easy scenarios that could be
Joseph Okaly:overlooked.
Joseph Okaly:So like as an example, let's say that you're working right now,
Joseph Okaly:someone comes to you, and they offer you a job for $25,000 or
Joseph Okaly:more per year. The conventional wisdom automatically is that you
Joseph Okaly:take it. More money equals better, you know? When you have
Joseph Okaly:a mindset of money, though, as a tool, we can reframe that whole
Joseph Okaly:scenario. We can instead say, what can more of this tool allow
Joseph Okaly:me to do that I can't already do to make my life happier. So if
Joseph Okaly:this new job comes a longer commute, seeing my family less,
Joseph Okaly:and you're not clear on how you can use this extra tool from a
Joseph Okaly:happiness standpoint, then I'd have to kind of ask you, you
Joseph Okaly:know, why are you doing this? Do you need more of this tool for
Joseph Okaly:what you have to give up? And if your answer is like, well, you
Joseph Okaly:know, I have relatives overseas, more of this tool, will allow me
Joseph Okaly:to now give my kids that experience to connect more with
Joseph Okaly:family. That's fantastic. Your your mindset now is in a place
Joseph Okaly:where it's allowing you to make an educated decision. Or maybe
Joseph Okaly:you know, you want a house with a really big backyard, because
Joseph Okaly:you always pictured yourself playing, you know, back there on
Joseph Okaly:weekends with your kids. You know, again, that mindset is
Joseph Okaly:allowing you to make an educated decision. You know, specifically
Joseph Okaly:what more of this tool will allow you to do.
Joseph Okaly:So I had brought up my wife, Lauren, earlier in this
Joseph Okaly:presentation. Why she is so awesome, is she used to be a
Joseph Okaly:teacher. And now she's a social media marketer for a competitive
Joseph Okaly:cheerleading gym. And this whole money as a tool was was a real
Joseph Okaly:life thing that we that we went through that we had to evaluate.
Joseph Okaly:And cheerleading, competitive cheerleading is her passion. I
Joseph Okaly:need to definitely define competitive cheerleading, it is
Joseph Okaly:not the pom poms on the side of the football game, but rather
Joseph Okaly:the giant pyramids of human beings that are flipping on each
Joseph Okaly:other heads. So that that's the competitive cheerleading that
Joseph Okaly:she loves. Now, when you when you're a teacher here in New
Joseph Okaly:Jersey, you go from having a pension, this very secure
Joseph Okaly:position. And now the pensions gone, the salary gets cut, but
Joseph Okaly:overall for our family, it was an exponential leap in
Joseph Okaly:happiness. And so I don't want this to turn into you know,
Joseph Okaly:willy nilly follow your dreams, chase rainbows, not telling you
Joseph Okaly:not to like money. I very much like money. I'm saying that when
Joseph Okaly:we looked at where we wanted to go, and how many tools we needed
Joseph Okaly:to do that, actually, we still had enough tools for our
Joseph Okaly:adjusted plan. We didn't follow the plan that would allow us to
Joseph Okaly:accumulate the most tools. Our money mindset actually allowed
Joseph Okaly:us to pick the one that would allow us to have the most
Joseph Okaly:happiness. So excelling in this financial mindset, to me really
Joseph Okaly:means understanding this as a goal. So does any of that
Joseph Okaly:connect with you Jade or any reflections that you have kind
Joseph Okaly:of bouncing that back off of you?
Jade Rose:Yeah, for sure. I think what's really interesting
Jade Rose:is this great resignation that we're going through off the back
Jade Rose:of COVID. Just in August this year, over 4 million Americans
Jade Rose:quit their jobs. And I wonder if that is due to a shift in maybe
Jade Rose:if people don't recognize it as money mindset but more of the
Jade Rose:happiness mindset and COVID really got people thinking about
Jade Rose:their priorities. I mean, have you? Is that being reflected in
Jade Rose:your clients people's change of priorities?
Joseph Okaly:I think that's a fantastic point to bring up.
Joseph Okaly:Because you're right, they're probably not doing it because
Joseph Okaly:they think, Oh, my money mindset has changed. So now I'm going
Joseph Okaly:about it this way. But money is part of it. They're saying, you
Joseph Okaly:know, I don't want to go back to work, and commute and spend you
Joseph Okaly:know, two hours and on the train going into New York City
Joseph Okaly:anymore. I don't want to do that anymore because that didn't make
Joseph Okaly:me happy. I see how much happier I am not doing that. So I think
Joseph Okaly:that's just a fantastic example, Jade of maybe that being
Joseph Okaly:reflected and seen publicly without maybe being directly
Joseph Okaly:connected to money mindset, as you said.
Jade Rose:Yeah, for sure. And I just want to share a very quick
Jade Rose:story. Just to back up Joe's points. I had a conversation
Jade Rose:with a young client, she's only 23, who outright said to me,
Jade Rose:Jade, I don't want to buy a house. That is not something
Jade Rose:that is in my life plan. And I really commended her for that.
Jade Rose:Because a lot of people think property is the right thing for
Jade Rose:them. Or, you know, there's a certain prescriptive way to live
Jade Rose:your life. But like Joe said, if that doesn't make sense for you,
Jade Rose:and your life and your family, then you know, wealth and
Jade Rose:success is really subjective. So really drill down on what it is
Jade Rose:that you guys want, and not what society says that you should
Jade Rose:want. We had a question, I can't remember who it was from, but it
Jade Rose:will let me add you to the stage. If that was you do raise
Jade Rose:your hand again and I will invite you up to ask your
Jade Rose:question to Joe. Okay, so the next section, we're going to
Jade Rose:talk about three questions that people can ask themselves to
Jade Rose:start excelling in their mindset.
Joseph Okaly:Great, yeah. Thank you, Jade. Yeah, so I'm a big
Joseph Okaly:visualization kind of a person. So let's do another exercise
Joseph Okaly:here. So visually, picture a blank map in your mind. And in
Joseph Okaly:the middle of this map, I want you to put a You Are Here
Joseph Okaly:sticker. So my map always seems to come out like a pirate map.
Joseph Okaly:But maybe yours is more like the one you see on the subway or
Joseph Okaly:what you pull out of your your glove compartment. But that
Joseph Okaly:sticker that You Are Here sticker in the blank map is
Joseph Okaly:where you are today. So as with any map, the whole purpose of
Joseph Okaly:maps is to help you get to where you're actually wanting to go.
Joseph Okaly:Blank maps are not helpful to anyone. So you know, the first
Joseph Okaly:question is, it sounds crazy. But the first question is
Joseph Okaly:literally asking yourself, what would make you happy. And if you
Joseph Okaly:have a spouse or significant other, what jointly would make
Joseph Okaly:you happy. And I thought that this was crazy the first time I
Joseph Okaly:did it 100%. Before I was taught to stop and be more intentional
Joseph Okaly:about this so you know, I was really just going day to day,
Joseph Okaly:week to week, month to month, you know, even from a young age,
Joseph Okaly:you know, you want to get good grades, get into a good school,
Joseph Okaly:get a good job, make a lot of money, get married, etc, etc.
Joseph Okaly:And when I actually stopped with this intentionality of my
Joseph Okaly:mindset, and Lauren and I sat down and kind of went over what
Joseph Okaly:would actually make us happy, I was surprised with what came
Joseph Okaly:out. I was surprised that by far what I valued more than
Joseph Okaly:anything, were more vacations and experiences. Taking my kids
Joseph Okaly:to Disney World, visiting new states around the US. I hadn't
Joseph Okaly:seen most of the states, that wasn't something that we did as
Joseph Okaly:a kid. Staying in interesting and unique Airbnb, you know, we
Joseph Okaly:went to like a upstate New York old school kind of place for
Joseph Okaly:Thanksgiving last year. For my wife, she wanted a pool, that
Joseph Okaly:was pretty straightforward. She grew up with one, she wanted to
Joseph Okaly:give that same experience to our kids. And for us, at least we
Joseph Okaly:both love our jobs. So retiring early, like that's a goal for
Joseph Okaly:someone that some people that would make people happy. For us
Joseph Okaly:that's not really on the top of our list, but it helped us
Joseph Okaly:organize this list. So it's really whatever would make you
Joseph Okaly:happy. You need to know this first because those are the
Joseph Okaly:destinations you're now putting on that blank map. Any map
Joseph Okaly:around the edges is where you're putting these destinations. And
Joseph Okaly:to Jade's point for her story with the young lady that she was
Joseph Okaly:working with. It doesn't have to be you know, buying a house that
Joseph Okaly:seems like it should be on your map but it doesn't have to be.
Joseph Okaly:It should be whoever whatever you want to put on your map,
Joseph Okaly:what would actually make you happy. So that's really the the
Joseph Okaly:first the first question that I always try to help people answer
Joseph Okaly:because you'd be surprised how often if you really stopped to
Joseph Okaly:think about it, you come up with this scale that's completely
Joseph Okaly:different than what you might, you know, just willy nilly kind
Joseph Okaly:of pull out of your pocket. If somebody asks you if you really
Joseph Okaly:give it the intentionality of your thought.
Joseph Okaly:The next question is, how much am I saving now? So you may have
Joseph Okaly:heard the phrase, you know, pay yourself first. And essentially
Joseph Okaly:everybody out here works really hard for their money. And then
Joseph Okaly:you take that money and you give it to the mortgage company. You
Joseph Okaly:take that money you give it to the grocery store or the car
Joseph Okaly:dealership or whatever else. But many people don't know how much
Joseph Okaly:they pay themselves first, every month. And from all the clients
Joseph Okaly:that we work with the ones that are the wealthiest and the
Joseph Okaly:happiest, it's not really about how much you make many times but
Joseph Okaly:how much you keep. So if you're wanting to be in a good place
Joseph Okaly:down the road, you're probably wanting to save, I would say at
Joseph Okaly:least 10% of your gross income. So if I make $100,000 a year,
Joseph Okaly:that'd be $10,000. A year that I'm saving, at least, if not
Joseph Okaly:more. So really, everybody out here should be looking to see
Joseph Okaly:how much am I saving now, because that's what leads to
Joseph Okaly:filling in these roads. So we have you here, you are here
Joseph Okaly:sticker in the middle, we now start building out some of these
Joseph Okaly:destinations on the outskirts of the map, but how far are our
Joseph Okaly:roads going out there. So if you haven't saved anything to this
Joseph Okaly:point, that that's fine. But your roads aren't very far right
Joseph Okaly:now we need to work on building those up. If you have been an
Joseph Okaly:avid saver for most of your life, up into this point, your
Joseph Okaly:roads might be like really well developed and might be really
Joseph Okaly:close to where those destinations are, if you stop
Joseph Okaly:and look at them, which then can free you up to live more in the
Joseph Okaly:present today.
Joseph Okaly:The last question is involving rituals or habits. Conversations
Joseph Okaly:like this are all well and good. You know, you watch that
Joseph Okaly:inspirational TED talk, you read that book that leaves you, you
Joseph Okaly:know, feeling on on a whole different level for a week or
Joseph Okaly:two. But all of this stuff tends to kind of fade if it's not
Joseph Okaly:right in front of you, if it's not top of mind. So the rituals
Joseph Okaly:or habits that I find to help it stay more top of mind, is the
Joseph Okaly:first thing is always asking myself why I'm doing something,
Joseph Okaly:especially when it comes to money. Is it because it would
Joseph Okaly:make me happy or because I'm supposed to do that. So again,
Joseph Okaly:the you know, am I wanting to buy a house because everyone in
Joseph Okaly:America is supposed to own their own house, or am I wanting to
Joseph Okaly:buy a house because it would actually make me happy. You
Joseph Okaly:know, again, to Jade's point buying houses, not for anyone,
Joseph Okaly:for everyone. It's your know, renting has a lot of really good
Joseph Okaly:perks to it, you know. And if that's what makes you happy, no
Joseph Okaly:maintenance or anything like that, then renting could be a
Joseph Okaly:great option.
Joseph Okaly:The second is what I'll call is money blocking, or what I call
Joseph Okaly:money blocking. So money blocking is basically setting
Joseph Okaly:blocks of your money to decide ahead of time, so that you free
Joseph Okaly:up everything else to not feel guilty about. So for example,
Joseph Okaly:let's say that you get a bonus every year. Ahead of time
Joseph Okaly:saying, I'm going to save half and spend half every year on a
Joseph Okaly:great vacation. That's cool, you're you're putting away half
Joseph Okaly:of your bonus towards yourself, and the remaining half you're
Joseph Okaly:actually using to live life. And now you could do a guilt free
Joseph Okaly:because you know, hey, I save this huge amount, now I get to
Joseph Okaly:spend this big amount. And it could be the same thing when you
Joseph Okaly:like get a raise. So we tell clients, okay, you know, if
Joseph Okaly:there's a let's, let's see, next time around, you want a little
Joseph Okaly:bit nicer car lease, that's fine. But let's save the other
Joseph Okaly:75% of that so you keep advancing towards those long
Joseph Okaly:term goals. Or, you know, take the first two paychecks and go
Joseph Okaly:on a nice vacation but blocking these these money items to the
Joseph Okaly:side and now that you could see what's left "I blocked away my
Joseph Okaly:savings. Now here's what's left, and I am freer in, you know, to
Joseph Okaly:use it for those things without feeling guilty". And you know, I
Joseph Okaly:encourage people to use this on a smaller level too. If you buy
Joseph Okaly:a $50 gift card every month for Starbucks, then every time you
Joseph Okaly:want an extra shot of espresso, great go for it, you don't have
Joseph Okaly:to feel guilty about that. Buy a package of you know, 4 massages
Joseph Okaly:after every bonus. So you know, every year I have one massage a
Joseph Okaly:quarter, whatever it might be. But when you block these things
Joseph Okaly:away, you know, to the side, then you don't get into like,
Joseph Okaly:"Oh, I really feel like I could use a massage. But you know, I
Joseph Okaly:just spent money on this over here" that it's like, "I already
Joseph Okaly:bought that massage, I can use it, it's I haven't used any of
Joseph Okaly:this quarter, I'm going to go for it". And that frees you up
Joseph Okaly:again to just make life as enjoyable as possible. That's
Joseph Okaly:really what we're trying to help, you know, reframing things
Joseph Okaly:to get you to that end goal. So you know, Jade, how do those
Joseph Okaly:three questions I guess hit you? Are those any you know that
Joseph Okaly:you've asked yourself before that you kind of work on and
Joseph Okaly:directly or another way with the clients that you have?
Jade Rose:Yeah, I mean, you know, I do this with my clients
Jade Rose:but equally, I do my own visualizations, my own mind
Jade Rose:mapping. And I think the biggest takeaway from you, Joe, is to
Jade Rose:really set a goal because, you know, if you don't know where
Jade Rose:you're aiming, then you're never going to get to it. What I
Jade Rose:wanted to say to the audience is if any of you are struggling
Jade Rose:with your money mindset, or perhaps you're not struggling,
Jade Rose:but you just feel a bit stuck, do come up to the stage and chat
Jade Rose:with Joe. And we'll see what we can do what we can help and
Jade Rose:maybe talk through some blocks that you may have yourself. So I
Jade Rose:wanted to ask Joe, they say you are the average of the five
Jade Rose:people closest to you. Do you think that applies for money
Jade Rose:habits as well?
Joseph Okaly:Wow, that's a really interesting question. So
Joseph Okaly:yeah, I would say that probably is more true than not. I would
Joseph Okaly:find it very surprising to, you know, get along well with you
Joseph Okaly:know, 4 people that go on lavish vacations and you never go on
Joseph Okaly:them at all, it'd be hard to kind of to be in that that
Joseph Okaly:social, that social group if they're going all over the place
Joseph Okaly:and you're not so I would say that that definitely has a fair
Joseph Okaly:amount of validity to it not that it's every time across the
Joseph Okaly:board. But yeah, I mean, if you have people, you know, I've
Joseph Okaly:heard that there are different types of mentors. So you can
Joseph Okaly:have a specific area kind of mentor, or you could have kind
Joseph Okaly:of a soul or a spiritual mentor. So for people that you know,
Joseph Okaly:that have somebody that when we're going through these
Joseph Okaly:exercises, they're like, you know, what, my father in law,
Joseph Okaly:you know, I feel like he really excels in his money mindset, or,
Joseph Okaly:you know, my cousin Johnny, like, he really excels in his
Joseph Okaly:money mindset based on what we went through today. You know,
Joseph Okaly:look for why you think that is like, why did they jump into
Joseph Okaly:your mind in that way? And maybe now, you know, relate to them a
Joseph Okaly:little bit more to see kind of what what are they doing that
Joseph Okaly:maybe I could reflect for myself, and kind of use, like
Joseph Okaly:you said, maybe they're not, you know, the five people you spend
Joseph Okaly:the most time with, but we all are around a lot of people and
Joseph Okaly:you know, some people just kind of give that vibe that they
Joseph Okaly:really seem happy, they really seem to have it together, and
Joseph Okaly:pay attention to that, again, be intentional of trying to look to
Joseph Okaly:see, you know, what are the some of the things that they might be
Joseph Okaly:doing, that I can emulate? Or what are some of the things that
Joseph Okaly:they might be willing to share with me? That might help me
Joseph Okaly:along in my own journey?
Jade Rose:Hmm, yeah. Awesome. So thinking about emulating good
Jade Rose:habits? And what can you tell us about the differences between
Jade Rose:regular people and wealthy people in terms of their money
Jade Rose:mindsets, and that?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so I mean, for me, the word wealth, I feel
Joseph Okaly:like always just ties directly in with money. And to me, wealth
Joseph Okaly:is really just like, a freedom to work on the things that you
Joseph Okaly:want to work on. And almost equally as important not have to
Joseph Okaly:work on things that you don't want to work on. So you know, we
Joseph Okaly:have people that that have, you know, huge net worths that we
Joseph Okaly:work with, and yet they like, can't wait to retire, because
Joseph Okaly:they just, they just don't like their day to day. So I would
Joseph Okaly:really try, you know, for the people that are not wealthy,
Joseph Okaly:those are usually the people that have I would say, have a
Joseph Okaly:poor mindset about it, not, you know, people that have a small
Joseph Okaly:net worth kind of a thing. So wealth, I really, I think it
Joseph Okaly:should be tied more much more into again, like I said, the,
Joseph Okaly:you know, are you free to spend time in the things you want to
Joseph Okaly:spend time on, and also not having to spend time on the
Joseph Okaly:things that you really don't want to spend time on?
Jade Rose:Yeah, so so wealth isn't necessarily the finer
Jade Rose:lifestyle and saving 60% of your income, but actually being
Jade Rose:miserable. Okay, so what are some of the common money mindset
Jade Rose:blocks that you come across, then?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so I think one of the biggest things for
Joseph Okaly:people especially that don't want that feel afraid to ask for
Joseph Okaly:help, is, you know, we have a lot of, especially young people
Joseph Okaly:that come in, and they say, you know, well, here's what we have,
Joseph Okaly:you know, I'm sorry, and it's not a lot, it's, you know, it's
Joseph Okaly:probably not as much as what a lot of your other clients have.
Joseph Okaly:And, and that mentality really holds so many people back from,
Joseph Okaly:from getting help and advice. Like, I know, for us, like, even
Joseph Okaly:if it's not a good fit for someone that we can work with,
Joseph Okaly:maybe you know, they're not at a phase in their life, where we
Joseph Okaly:really are able to jump in and help them in all the ways that
Joseph Okaly:we help some of our other people. But we always leave them
Joseph Okaly:with advice, we always say, you know, here work on ABC and D,
Joseph Okaly:and here's why. And then when these are completed, like, then
Joseph Okaly:you probably wouldn't be a fit, and they can come back to us. So
Joseph Okaly:even if you reach out to somebody, and it doesn't seem
Joseph Okaly:like a long term relationship for the next 30 years is in the
Joseph Okaly:cards, you're probably going to leave with some good piece of
Joseph Okaly:information. I mean, anybody that's just a nice human being,
Joseph Okaly:is going to try to help you. I mean, like, think of your own
Joseph Okaly:jobs, if somebody called you up in your own job, and they they
Joseph Okaly:had a question for you. And it wasn't really, you know, a good
Joseph Okaly:fit for someone you could work with but they had a question
Joseph Okaly:that you could give them some advice for, you'd probably give
Joseph Okaly:it to them. So the same thing goes with, you know, with that
Joseph Okaly:kind of stuff, you know. I really would encourage people
Joseph Okaly:to, to reach out to somebody and just get, you know, one or two
Joseph Okaly:pieces of information or advice, any of that goes a really long
Joseph Okaly:way, especially if you're young. And these decisions have time to
Joseph Okaly:compound and grow on each other. It can really just mean you
Joseph Okaly:know, all the difference in the world. So that's the biggest
Joseph Okaly:thing that just jumped out for me that that I wanted to touch
Joseph Okaly:on from that part, Jade.
Jade Rose:Great, thank you. We've just had a great question
Jade Rose:come in from an audience member. They said, "How do I set money
Jade Rose:boundaries when I have friends earning a lot more and a lot
Jade Rose:less than me?"
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so I think the best way to set the money
Joseph Okaly:boundaries would be as long as you're always paying yourself
Joseph Okaly:that percent first, right? So like, if you're already putting
Joseph Okaly:away let's say, 10% every month, and you've looked at it enough
Joseph Okaly:where that seems like it's going to get you on the on the path
Joseph Okaly:that you want to be in, then that frees you up to know what's
Joseph Okaly:left. So you could say like, you know, for my friends that spend
Joseph Okaly:more well, you know, I don't have that. I don't have that
Joseph Okaly:piece. You know, I put away the money towards myself. This is
Joseph Okaly:what I have left. And that's just not going to work. So I'll
Joseph Okaly:connect with you guys next time. And the same thing for the
Joseph Okaly:people that maybe you know, aren't at that position where
Joseph Okaly:you are, you know, you're putting away what you can put
Joseph Okaly:away. And then the rest of it is just that guilt free thing that
Joseph Okaly:you want to want to do something with. So, you know, it's not
Joseph Okaly:trying to like match somebody's level. But once you get the
Joseph Okaly:paying yourself first part out of it, then you really can see
Joseph Okaly:okay, this is what's left to be free in and really, you know,
Joseph Okaly:guilt free anxiety free to go out and spend in the way that
Joseph Okaly:you want to spend it.
Jade Rose:But were you always guilt free around money, Joe? Or
Jade Rose:did was that something you had to work towards?
Joseph Okaly:Oh, absolutely. When I remember when I first got
Joseph Okaly:out of college, it was something that I really had to strive for.
Joseph Okaly:So my, my I remember my mom and sister laughing at me, because I
Joseph Okaly:got out of college, I was living at home at first as I was trying
Joseph Okaly:to kick start as an advisor. And there was like a super Friday
Joseph Okaly:sale or something like that on the you know, at the day after
Joseph Okaly:Thanksgiving here is a big, you know, holiday where you go out
Joseph Okaly:and you like, buy a lot of stuff Black Friday, and I spent like,
Joseph Okaly:I don't $500 on a TV, and I want to like throw up because I never
Joseph Okaly:spent money on anything. And you know, I just in high school, I
Joseph Okaly:would work I was a waiter. And you know, I had enough money to
Joseph Okaly:do some things. But like, I was definitely the type that did not
Joseph Okaly:want to spend my money. Like I cringed at the thought of
Joseph Okaly:spending money. So when I first went and just like, bought a TV
Joseph Okaly:with money I could fully afford I was paying no rent or anything
Joseph Okaly:living at home, that $500 I like wanted to throw up over. So
Joseph Okaly:it's, it's something that is learned, whatever money mindset
Joseph Okaly:you are at today, like anything else, you're you're still
Joseph Okaly:learning, I'm still learning, I'm sure you're still learning
Joseph Okaly:Jade. So it's something that's constantly changing and
Joseph Okaly:evolving. Nobody's just born with this perfect money mindset.
Joseph Okaly:They have to go out and they have to make mistakes. And you
Joseph Okaly:know, I wouldn't throw up if I had to buy a new TV anymore. But
Joseph Okaly:that is definitely something that you have to work your way
Joseph Okaly:into. And that's a you know, kind of a muscle that you have
Joseph Okaly:to flex. And you know, you don't want to overdo it and strain it.
Joseph Okaly:But you have to find that happy medium. So it's definitely
Joseph Okaly:something that you have to work on to get to the right spot.
Jade Rose:Wow, that's a great story. Joe, thanks for sharing
Jade Rose:that with us. Harry, I'm not sure if I'm able to allow you to
Jade Rose:speak but
Joseph Okaly:Let me see if I can do it here Jade, I pressed
Joseph Okaly:the button. I don't know if they're coming through.
Jade Rose:If not Harry dm your question, and I'll read it out
Jade Rose:for you. Okay, so another question I wanted to ask then.
Jade Rose:You said you have two children. I'm interested to know what
Jade Rose:lessons you try to teach them? And how can parents teach their
Jade Rose:children about money in an engaging way?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so the first thing about parents with their
Joseph Okaly:kids is my kids are a little too young for this right now. But I
Joseph Okaly:would really, really encourage parents to just be open about
Joseph Okaly:some some degree of money or finances like that they, they
Joseph Okaly:hiding it kind of like after the kids go to bed kind of thing,
Joseph Okaly:paying the bills when they're not around. I think that really
Joseph Okaly:is handicapping the kid, your children more than anything. The
Joseph Okaly:story that I always bring up is my grandfather, my Grandpa Joe,
Joseph Okaly:he used to make envelopes every month. So he would have 10
Joseph Okaly:envelopes. You know, one was electric one was groceries one
Joseph Okaly:was, you know, whatever else, and he put the cash in each
Joseph Okaly:individual envelope. And that was the money that he had for
Joseph Okaly:that month. So you know, the grocery envelope is empty, you
Joseph Okaly:know, they're eating very meagerly through the end of the
Joseph Okaly:month. And so his daughters all five of them, they remember that
Joseph Okaly:system. They remember him doing that. And now like with Excel,
Joseph Okaly:and online payments, like kids kind of don't get to see that.
Joseph Okaly:But when it's out there, and it's open, and it's visual for
Joseph Okaly:them to see to some degree, they can really learn from that. I
Joseph Okaly:mean, like when I you know, when you have young kids, you don't
Joseph Okaly:say any swear words at all, because you know, they're gonna
Joseph Okaly:repeat them kind of a thing they pick up on all those things. The
Joseph Okaly:same thing is true with money. And you know, when you have it
Joseph Okaly:out to some degree, like, Oh, this is why I you know, I use a
Joseph Okaly:credit card at the grocery store instead of cash or, you know,
Joseph Okaly:vice versa, or, you know, oh, yeah, I just, you know, I got a
Joseph Okaly:raise and so you know, part of that, you know, we're going to
Joseph Okaly:go on vacation, and I'm also putting away some more to your
Joseph Okaly:college education, but just have it out there. Don't have it be
Joseph Okaly:taboo in your house, because you are literally the only resource
Joseph Okaly:that they can go to. They're not going to learn it in school
Joseph Okaly:unless things drastically changed from where they are
Joseph Okaly:today. They're, they're just going to pick up this mindset on
Joseph Okaly:their own naturally. And so you are the best resource that they
Joseph Okaly:could have. You don't have to like show them your pay stubs,
Joseph Okaly:but just anything that you could do around money to just be open
Joseph Okaly:a little bit about it will allow them to pick up on more than you
Joseph Okaly:realize and learn more than you realize. When you have really
Joseph Okaly:really little kids like I do I've a five and two year old.
Joseph Okaly:Just simple stuff like you know we have a grocery store, kind of
Joseph Okaly:a a game that we play Oh, how much is this? How much is this?
Joseph Okaly:Oh, I only have this much, oh, I have to put this back. And just
Joseph Okaly:little things like this, they at least learn the concept when
Joseph Okaly:they're really young, that money is this intangible thing that it
Joseph Okaly:can run out. It's not infinite. And if they can learn just that,
Joseph Okaly:when they're really little, that money exists one, and that two,
Joseph Okaly:it has limits, then they're going to be much more advanced
Joseph Okaly:when it comes to money than most every other young kid out there.
Jade Rose:Yeah, that I completely agree. I think the
Jade Rose:culture is a little different in the States, but in the UK
Jade Rose:talking about money is a huge no, no. But what I'm hearing is
Jade Rose:actually we should be getting children involved in the
Jade Rose:conversation as soon as we can. Like you said, not showing them
Jade Rose:the pay stubs, but teaching them the concepts of what it is. So
Jade Rose:if anyone is just joins, we are chatting with Joe Okaly,
Jade Rose:financial advisor, I'm podcaster. We're discussing how
Jade Rose:to excel in your financial mindset. And you can DM any
Jade Rose:questions you have to me, and I'll read them out for you.
Joseph Okaly:I hope you don't mind me asking, is there. Do you
Joseph Okaly:have any background like in the UK? How it's such a no, no. Is
Joseph Okaly:there anything more that you could share that I find that
Joseph Okaly:really interesting?
Jade Rose:It's just you know, I don't have an answer for you.
Jade Rose:It's, it's just uncouth. It's just not the British way. We
Jade Rose:would rather talk about the weather and the commute, then
Jade Rose:then talk about money. And the thing I say to people is, that
Jade Rose:doesn't benefit anyone but the system. It doesn't benefit you
Jade Rose:when you're negotiating salary to not know what your peers are
Jade Rose:earning. It doesn't benefit you to know that actually your
Jade Rose:neighbor with the Bentley and a lot of debt. You know, I think
Jade Rose:transparency is the way forward. So yeah, it's it's just not the
Jade Rose:British way. It's just a cultural thing. Yeah. So I also
Jade Rose:a lot of people say to me, you know, you're telling me to dream
Jade Rose:big and to make vision boards and these things, but I don't
Jade Rose:know what I can have. So what what would you say to someone
Jade Rose:who says they don't know what they can aim for?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, I mean, when we work with clients, we're
Joseph Okaly:doing a lot of planning. So we can say like, if you save, you
Joseph Okaly:know what you're saving now and you already have what you have
Joseph Okaly:now, we can say okay, so this is what it looks like in 10 years,
Joseph Okaly:or this is what it looks like in 20 years. And that's the one
Joseph Okaly:thing that that's it's more difficult to kind of do on your
Joseph Okaly:own, because you can't build in like inflation rates and you
Joseph Okaly:know, compounding interest easily, online yourself from
Joseph Okaly:what I've seen at least. So that's the part that's a little
Joseph Okaly:bit more difficult. But when you when we're able to show people
Joseph Okaly:that, then it really just kind of it opens them up to what's
Joseph Okaly:possible. And when we tell people to dream big, we don't
Joseph Okaly:tell them that it's definitely going to happen. We say like,
Joseph Okaly:like you start with what you would ideally like to do. And I
Joseph Okaly:promise you, if you can't do that, we'll back it down to what
Joseph Okaly:you can do. But start with tell me your ideal situation first,
Joseph Okaly:because that's what I'd love to hit. And then if we have to move
Joseph Okaly:down from that, I'm not going to bankrupt you in the process, I'm
Joseph Okaly:definitely going to tell you, Hey, let's step this down a
Joseph Okaly:couple notches. But you know, starting there, and again, I
Joseph Okaly:mean, I'm completely biased. And I don't want to pretend I'm not
Joseph Okaly:being an advisor. But that's why I see such value in going and
Joseph Okaly:talking to someone and working with someone, because you can
Joseph Okaly:see more more clearly where you're going, that that map that
Joseph Okaly:we visualized before, it has more definitive roads in it. And
Joseph Okaly:that way it frees you have to make those decisions. So like,
Joseph Okaly:like, I've had young clients who they were great, great savers,
Joseph Okaly:excuse me. And when I showed them like, Hey, you're already
Joseph Okaly:on a path to like retire, and probably a little bit early, not
Joseph Okaly:even including, like salary raises and stuff like that, that
Joseph Okaly:you're going to get. Because if you if you think about if you're
Joseph Okaly:30 years old, and you have already saved, let's say, you
Joseph Okaly:know, $200,000, you know, every 10 years, there's this thing
Joseph Okaly:called the rule of 72. So if you assume a 7% return every 10
Joseph Okaly:years, that would double in that case, so you know, $200,000 at
Joseph Okaly:30 is $400,000 at 40 is $800,000 at 50 and is $1.6 million at 60.
Joseph Okaly:So when you start extrapolating out, you can see like, oh, wow,
Joseph Okaly:I may not have a million dollars now, but I'm already on that
Joseph Okaly:path based on what I've put away. And that frees you up to
Joseph Okaly:do things like that, that couples instance, they decided
Joseph Okaly:like I want to put in a pool in my backyard, because I want my
Joseph Okaly:kids to have that experience and we only get 18 summers with our
Joseph Okaly:kids. I want to make the most of those 18 summers. So yeah, I
Joseph Okaly:mean having some path or some direction and then just working
Joseph Okaly:with someone that wants you to dream big but will tell you you
Joseph Okaly:know, this is what you have to do to get to those dreams are
Joseph Okaly:like we're gonna have to back it down a little bit. But you know,
Joseph Okaly:absolutely start at the top to me my opinion and then let's
Joseph Okaly:work our way back down to anything that we have to but
Joseph Okaly:let's start at the top for sure.
Jade Rose:Yeah, I agree. And just to add to that, a lot of
Jade Rose:people think financial goals are material, tangible goals, cars,
Jade Rose:homes, the rest of it. What I would say to that is, it's also
Jade Rose:about lifestyle, you know, what type of life do you want to
Jade Rose:live? Is that staying home with the children? Is that working
Jade Rose:part time? Is it relocation? You know, it doesn't have to be
Jade Rose:material things. So just something to bear in mind. We've
Jade Rose:had another audience question. And that is, do you have any
Jade Rose:tips for people that want to save up for the holidays and not
Jade Rose:get into debt?
Joseph Okaly:Yeah, so saving up for the holidays, the holidays
Joseph Okaly:are always a more difficult time, what we tend to, you know,
Joseph Okaly:you're going to spend more on the holidays. So if you back off
Joseph Okaly:your savings a little bit leading up to the holidays, when
Joseph Okaly:you're dealing with credit cards, and things of that
Joseph Okaly:nature, you know, might be 10, 15, 20% interest rates, that if
Joseph Okaly:you're not able to pay that off, that's a lot worse than saving
Joseph Okaly:money into your retirement account as well in December. So
Joseph Okaly:you know, what we have some people do is they actually time
Joseph Okaly:in the US, you have limits on how much you can put in your
Joseph Okaly:401k. So they'll max out their 401k, or they'll do all their
Joseph Okaly:contributions that they're planning on doing to their 401k
Joseph Okaly:and have them end in like November. And then that way,
Joseph Okaly:December, they have a little extra money to do whatever they
Joseph Okaly:they need to do in the holiday. So they adjust their savings a
Joseph Okaly:little bit in that month. The other thing that some people do
Joseph Okaly:is, again, with bonuses, bonuses are great, because it's this one
Joseph Okaly:time, you know, lump sum kind of a thing. And you can use it in a
Joseph Okaly:completely separate way than how you handle the rest of your
Joseph Okaly:income. So what a lot of people do with their bonuses, when we
Joseph Okaly:help them be intentional about it is I mentioned before, like,
Joseph Okaly:Okay, you save half you go on vacation for half, we have some
Joseph Okaly:people that say like, I want to save, you know, 10% of every
Joseph Okaly:bonus and use it during the holidays. So you could do that,
Joseph Okaly:too. So it's, you know, be intentional about it. But
Joseph Okaly:there's no investment out there that I would recommend to, you
Joseph Okaly:know, to keep investing into at the expense of having debt build
Joseph Okaly:up on a you know, on a credit card during the holidays.
Jade Rose:Hmm, yeah, absolutely. But we've had
Jade Rose:another question, which is, what can I start doing tomorrow to
Jade Rose:make better money decisions?
Joseph Okaly:I mean, for me, I would say start with those those
Joseph Okaly:three questions. I mean, being you know, what would actually
Joseph Okaly:make you happy like Jade said to me, as well, it's much more of a
Joseph Okaly:lifestyle thing than a material kind of thing. I don't know
Joseph Okaly:anybody that is like on their deathbed that saying I'm really
Joseph Okaly:happy that I got that, you know, X series car lease kind of a
Joseph Okaly:thing. So yeah, what you could start doing tomorrow is just
Joseph Okaly:being more intentional about what would make you happy, and
Joseph Okaly:start asking yourself as you go through the day, like does this
Joseph Okaly:make me happy? Or does this not make me happy? What my would I
Joseph Okaly:be happier if I was working from home still, would I be happier,
Joseph Okaly:you start questioning things and start kind of figuring out what
Joseph Okaly:make you happy. It's not a lot of times an overnight exercise.
Joseph Okaly:It's it's hard to think about some of that stuff. So, you
Joseph Okaly:know, being more intentional and definitely, you know, looking at
Joseph Okaly:what you're paying yourself right now. You know, I think
Joseph Okaly:most people if I asked them like, oh, what percent of your
Joseph Okaly:of your monthly income do you pay to yourself? Most people
Joseph Okaly:wouldn't be able to answer that question. So that's an easy one
Joseph Okaly:that like by tomorrow, you could say like, Okay, here's how much
Joseph Okaly:I get, and here's how much I'm saving. So right now I'm paying
Joseph Okaly:you know, 4.2% towards myself, and you know, what, Hey, that
Joseph Okaly:sounds a little bit low from from the conversation last
Joseph Okaly:night. You know, maybe I should look for ways to increase that a
Joseph Okaly:little bit more. So I would say those are the two two things
Joseph Okaly:that jumped in my mind.
Jade Rose:That's great. And I'm wondering if you have an opinion
Jade Rose:on manifestations, affirmations, the kind of spiritual side of
Jade Rose:money mindset, do you have any, any opinions?
Joseph Okaly:I mean, when you talk about money itself, like,
Joseph Okaly:or more of just like, like to me because like when money I when I
Joseph Okaly:start looking at money as a tool, that kind of like frees me
Joseph Okaly:up into like the, the spiritual kind of thing. Like if I'm going
Joseph Okaly:to be freeing myself up lifestyle wise to do the things
Joseph Okaly:that I really enjoy doing, as opposed to wasting all my time
Joseph Okaly:on things that I really don't like doing it all. To me that
Joseph Okaly:it's like, if you get past money sometimes, then that frees you
Joseph Okaly:up to kind of live in what I would define more as that space
Joseph Okaly:but I'm not sure if that's if that was the exact direction
Joseph Okaly:that you were going with that Jade.
Jade Rose:Well, that was a great answer. But I'm thinking
Jade Rose:more of along the lines of generational trauma around money
Jade Rose:that's been inherited and people who genuinely feel stuck and
Jade Rose:blocked using things like affirmations to to enhance their
Jade Rose:money mindset and get out of that space. Do you believe those
Jade Rose:works, morning affirmations?
Joseph Okaly:I mean, honestly, I have not dealt with those
Joseph Okaly:specifically around money mindsets before if I'm being
Joseph Okaly:perfectly honest. I meditate every night. So I'm a big, I'm a
Joseph Okaly:big being the right mindset, being thankful for where you are
Joseph Okaly:today kind of a person. But I've never honestly used those tools
Joseph Okaly:specifically to try to help somebody get out of a poor money
Joseph Okaly:mindset into a better one. Do you have any experience that
Joseph Okaly:you'd be able to share with that though?
Jade Rose:I don't in my professional life with clients,
Jade Rose:but I do personally. So I was just intrigued if you did, you
Jade Rose:know, telling myself, you know, particular goals that I want to
Jade Rose:achieve or particular milestones. Yeah, I did the
Jade Rose:modules enough off off the record question that I was
Jade Rose:interested in asking you. So just to wrap up for the last few
Jade Rose:minutes, going back to making life more enjoyable, I'm
Jade Rose:wondering what that means for you and what plans you have for
Jade Rose:the future?
Joseph Okaly:Sure, yeah. So for me, I want I feel incredibly
Joseph Okaly:blessed and fortunate that I wound up in the situation that
Joseph Okaly:I'm in. We didn't get into too much today. But you know, I have
Joseph Okaly:not one but two fathers that are like fathers to me, neither one
Joseph Okaly:of them are my biological father. But they both, you know,
Joseph Okaly:have been guiding me for the last 10 years. And so you know,
Joseph Okaly:having the opportunity to be in the position that I am to have
Joseph Okaly:this kind of awareness at a younger age, when it comes to
Joseph Okaly:money, like I just want to share that with with everybody,
Joseph Okaly:really. I feel blessed that we live in an age where we have
Joseph Okaly:podcasts and Fishbowl and, and everything else. So I mean, I'm
Joseph Okaly:just so excited to to be able to share this with everybody out
Joseph Okaly:there and just think of new ways that I could do that. You know,
Joseph Okaly:one of those Strategic Coach things, again, the coaching
Joseph Okaly:program that they go through is, is you know, when you're an
Joseph Okaly:entrepreneur, one of the things that you could free yourself up
Joseph Okaly:for is purpose. And I had the hardest time coming up with
Joseph Okaly:like, what is my, what is my purpose? What is my purpose?
Joseph Okaly:What should I do? You know, I'm helping these people with money.
Joseph Okaly:And then for me, it just clicked when I thought about young
Joseph Okaly:people, because we help, you know, most wealth management
Joseph Okaly:firms, I'm assuming this is similar over there, Jade as
Joseph Okaly:well, we work with mostly an older demographic, because they
Joseph Okaly:have more money built up, they're closer to retirement,
Joseph Okaly:they're asking for help now. But these younger people, younger
Joseph Okaly:families, if they could just do like, you know, anything like
Joseph Okaly:10% of the best advice out there, they would be in such an
Joseph Okaly:exponentially better position long term. So that was what just
Joseph Okaly:like kind of clicked in for me like, this is my purpose. I'm
Joseph Okaly:going to get the word out to as many young families as I
Joseph Okaly:possibly can in this world, because if I can help them with
Joseph Okaly:one thing or two things, like their life could be
Joseph Okaly:exponentially just that much greater the time they spend with
Joseph Okaly:their kids could be just that much greater exponentially. So
Joseph Okaly:I'm just happy. I feel like I found my purpose of what I
Joseph Okaly:should keep shouting at everybody about and I'm just
Joseph Okaly:gonna keep going with that.
Jade Rose:Joe that's awesome and your enthusiasm is
Jade Rose:infectious. Thank you so much for joining us this evening. I
Jade Rose:think it'd be great if we could get you back and talk more about
Jade Rose:that purpose, both yours and how people can really drill down
Jade Rose:into their own as well. Joe, can people reach out to you if they
Jade Rose:have any questions or would like financial advice? And if so,
Jade Rose:where can they find you?
Joseph Okaly:Oh, yeah, absolutely. If anybody has
Joseph Okaly:questions on anything, you can find me on all the you know,
Joseph Okaly:normal social media places here Fishbowl, LinkedIn, anything
Joseph Okaly:that I could do to help anybody out there. I put out different
Joseph Okaly:new episodes every week for my podcast, EnjoyMore30s Family
Joseph Okaly:Finance. So if anything out there is something that can help
Joseph Okaly:anybody that's that's just fantastic. That's what I'm
Joseph Okaly:trying to do. So those are the great ways to connect with me.
Joseph Okaly:Jade you were fantastic tonight, I want to thank you again, so
Joseph Okaly:much for for being here. And all those thoughtful questions that
Joseph Okaly:you put together to contribute to tonight. It was it was really
Joseph Okaly:just wonderful.
Jade Rose:Thank you. Well it was great to have you. Thanks
Jade Rose:again. And thank you all for joining us this evening. If you
Jade Rose:have any questions for Joe do reach out and if there are any
Jade Rose:finance topics you'd like us to discuss in the future, do reach
Jade Rose:out to myself or the Fishbowl team and we'll try and make that
Jade Rose:happen for you guys. Awesome. All right. Well, thank you
Jade Rose:everyone and have a wonderful evening.
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